On this week’s episode of The Van Maren Show, Jonathon speaks with Dr. Miriam Sciberras, leader of the Life Network Foundation Malta, about the outpouring of pro-life support as lawmakers debate a bill to legalize abortion, the domestic and foreign pressure to upend Malta’s culture of life, and why she thinks abortion is the foremost human rights issue of all time.
Nicole was in her late twenties. She already had two children and was going through a difficult period of life, while pregnant with her third child. She had started using drugs and she seemed to be in danger of addiction when she discovered she was pregnant. Unfortunately, her family didn’t want to support her when she discovered this news and pressurised her into having an abortion. Due to her habit of using drugs, she was being supported by a lot of services, and although she had a lot of pressure to abort her baby, she remained unsure. She called Lifeline for help and a counsellor went to meet her. Then she came to realise that, with support, she would be able to create a life for herself and her three children. Life Line was also able to help her by patching up the broken relationship with her family. They were able to speak to her parents about her positive decision and this too helped Nicole go forward with her life. Knowing that her family would be there for her and her children made a big difference to Nicole. Life Line was also able to provide support to her family and in this way, Nicole was able to stay in her family home. Her pregnancy was without complications and she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, surrounded and supported by her whole family. However, unfortunately, soon after the baby was born, she had a relapse. In order to resolve this situation, she then decided to commence an official rehabilitation programme to save-guard her third children. And at this point she also decided to enter the maternity home with her 3 children. Once she had been able to clean her herself up, she moved out to an apartment; she was able to pay for her housing on her own, through the paid work that she was doing. In this way, she moved away from addiction to an independent single mum, supporting herself and her 3 children. We are so glad that she is doing well and remains so grateful that she didn’t abort her child. We remain in touch and support her in any way that she requires. Sometimes we catch up with a chat over coffee.
Nicole kienet fl-aħħar ta’ l-għoxrin sena. Diġà kellha żewġt itfal u kienet għaddejja minn perjodu diffiċli tal-ħajja, waqt li kienet tqila bit-tielet wild tagħha. Bdiet tuża d-droga u dehret li kienet fil-periklu tal-vizzju meta skopriet li kienet tqila. Sfortunatament, il-familja tagħha ma appoġġjawhiex meta skopriet din l-aħbar u għamlitha pressjoni biex tagħmel abort. Minħabba d-drawwa li tuża d-droga, kienet qed tiġi appoġġjata minn ħafna servizzi, u għalkemm kellha ħafna pressjoni biex tabortixxi lit-tarbija tagħha, baqgħet inċerta. Cemplet lil Lifeline għall-għajnuna u konsulent min taghna mar jiltaqa’ magħha. Ilqajnijha b’imhabba kbira u hemm kien fejn indunat li bl-appoġġ kbir li konna qed noffrulha kienet se tkun kapaċi toħloq ħajja għaliha u t-tliet uliedha. Stajna ngħinuha wkoll billi tkellimna mal-ġenituri tagħha dwar id-deċiżjoni pożittiva tagħha u dan irnexxha wkoll ghax l-genituri taghha indunnaw li ahna konna qedghin hemm ghalijhom wkoll. Dan ukoll għen lil Nicole timxi ‘l quddiem b’ħajjitha, billi kienet taf li l-familja tagħha kienet se tkun hemm għaliha u għal uliedha. Stajna wkoll nagħtu appoġġ lill-familja tagħha u b’dan il-mod, Nicole setgħet tkompli tghix mal-familja tagħha. It-twelid tat-tarbija kien mingħajr kumplikazzjonijiet u Nicole welldet tarbija b’saħħitha, imdawra u appoġġjata mill-familja tagħha. Madankollu, sfortunatament, ftit wara li twieldet it-tarbija, hija kellha rikaduta ghad-droga. Ahna konna hemm ghalija wkoll u bl-ghajnuna taghna imbagħad iddeċidiet li tibda programm ta’ riabilitazzjoni mid-droga uffiċjali biex issalva lit-3 uliedha. Kien f’dan il-mument li iddeċidiet ukoll li tidħol fid-dar tal-maternità flimkien mat-3 uliedha. Wara li temmet b’success il-programm tar-riabilitazzjoni ghenijha issib appartament u xoghol. Marret f’appartament, li setgħet tħallas għalih waħedha permezz tax-xogħol li kienet tagħmel. B’dan il-mod, hija għaddiet biex tkun tista’ ssostni lilha nnifisha u lit-3 uliedha, bħala omm waħedha. Ninsabu ferħanin li sejra tajjeb u tant grati li ma abortitx lil binha. Ghadna f’kuntatt maghha u ghadna nappoġġjawha b’kull mod li Nicole teħtieġ. Mhux l-ewwel darba li imorru niltaqaw ma’ Nicole u 3 angli taghha u nghidu kelma waqt li niehdu kafè.
Kay is a 20 year old who already had a son aged 6 years old. Kay had been in a short-term relationship; however, it was not a stable relationship, and it was typically characterised by lots of arguments. One day the couple argued bitterly and her boyfriend asked her to go and get an abortion, then he broke her phone, threw all her belongings out onto the street and kicked her out too. A friend called Life Line to explain that Kay was in trouble and had nowhere to go. She was in a vulnerable state and needed help. We were able to make a place for her at the maternity home with her 6-year-old son. She spent all her pregnancy with us and we supported her with all her needs, including helping her to find a job and enlisting her for other support services available to her as a single mum. She spent a year with us and gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby. The first thing she said after the birth of her baby was “what was I going to do with my own hands!” She was so very thankful that we supported her through this difficult time of her life and that she hadn’t gone ahead with the abortion, but rather that she went on to have a healthy pregnancy and gave birth to this bundle of joy. Life Line have remained present in Kay’s life, even after the birth. She has been able to move into an apartment, while supporting herself and her two children. Even after a year has passed, she is doing well and still supporting herself and her two children. We remain in touch and support her in any way we can; even just for coffee, to keep social contact.
Kay hija żagħżugħa ta’ 20 sena li diġà kellha tifel ta’ 6 snin. Kay kienet f’relazzjoni għal żmien qasir, madankollu, ma kinitx relazzjoni stabbli, u tipikament mifruxa b’ħafna argumenti. Ġurnata waħda l-koppja argumentat bil- kbir u s-sieheb taghha talbitha biex tmur tagħmel abort. Waqt l-argument kisserilha l-mobile u tefalha l-affarijiet kollha tagħha barra fit-triq u keċċa lilha l-barra wkoll. Ħabiba taghha ċemplitna biex tispjega li Kay kienet fl-inkwiet u ma kellhiex fejn toghqod. Kay kienet fi stat vulnerabbli u kellha bżonn l-għajnuna. Tajnijha saqaf fuq rasha ghalijha u ghal binha, fid-dar tal-maternità tal-Mosta. Hija qattgħet it-tqala kollha tagħha magħna u aħna appoġġajnaha fil-bżonnijiet kollha tagħha, inkluż li ngħinuha biex issib impjieg u nqabbduha għal servizzi oħra ta’ appoġġ disponibbli għaliha bħala omm waħedha. Hadna hsieb lic-ckejken taghha meta kienet tmur ghal-appuntamenti l-isptar.Hija qattgħet sena magħna u welldet tarbija sabiħa u b’saħħitha. Waqt il-hlas ahna konna magha wkoll. L-ewwel ħaġa li qalet wara t-twelid tat-tarbija tagħha kienet “x’kont se nagħmel b’idi!” Kienet tant grata li sabet l-appogg taghna matul dan iż-żmien diffiċli ta’ ħajjitha u li ma kinitx kompliet bl-abort, iżda pjuttost li kienet kompliet bit-tqala. Bqajna preżenti fil-ħajja ta’ Kay, anke wara li kien nwasal iz-zmien li titlaq tghix fl- appartament il-gdid taghha. Kienet f’xoghol stabbli u seghtet ssostni lilha nfisha u liż-żewġ uliedha. Bqajna f’kuntatt u nappoġġjawha b’kull mod li nistgħu, anke għall-kafè mhux l-ewwel darba li morru sal lum il-gurnata.
The special story of Victoria began with a confidential phone call on our Help Line. A young mother-to-be needed our support. She was in her early twenties and looking forward a full and promising life ahead of her.
Suddenly things changed. A pregnancy test and two blue lines threw Victoria into a sea of trouble and panic. How could it be?!
She felt she had too many problems. She wished to escape. She was seeing all her life fade away before her eyes. And she felt it was all her fault. She could not believe that she had let this happen to her – she thought she had a perfect plan and now, after one night, it had all disappeared!!
She spent a day trawling the internet and she decided to seek help. She contacted us via Facebook messenger.
Victoria first visited our office accompanied by her mother and partner, the baby’s father. Instinctively, she was greeted with a sympathetic hug! Around a table, in an atmosphere of calmness, she was able to explain her problems, one after another, without feeling judged. This included the way she came to be pregnant, unexpectantly.
She was deeply upset and didn’t know how to face this situation. In this calm atmosphere, the process began. It was long but sympathetic. All the problems were identified, one at a time, and solutions discussed for each. This time-consuming process was most worthwhile.
Accommodation was also offered, yet Victoria’s family also wished to help. And Victoria explained that she wished to be able to support herself and become financially independent. By the end of our first meeting, Victoria had begun to smile again and appeared less anxious. She left feeling positive and ready for action!
Victoria says that at first, under great shock, the many problems seemed insurmountable. She could not see a way ahead. This is why she recalls wanting to escape! However, she was in a stable relationship with the boy’s father and she was determined about the importance to become financially independent.
After a long first meeting Victoria called to say that she had decided to keep her baby.
She also asked if she could stay in touch with us. Of course, we accepted. In fact, that is what happened. She kept us informed every step of the way, sending us scans and news throughout her pregnancy, including the occasion when she discovered the gender of her baby. At the birth, we were the first people that she sent a picture to, plus a short video, and this really filled us with joy.
Our accompaniment of Victoria continued until she returned to work. With her child in childcare, she has been able to return to paid work and is now financially independent, as she had she would be: no longer needing any financial support.
She has also remained in a healthy relationship with the baby’s father and they plan on officially becoming a family in the very near future.
Victoria has asked us to continue staying in touch. It has been an honour and a pleasure for us to keep contact with Victoria and her family, whom we have also been able to help. They have become part of our extended family. It is also very encouraging for us to see them succeed in life and become integrated back into society and normal life.
We really admire the courage and determination of Victoria and all the girls, who, in similar challenging circumstances, choose life for their babies.
Today we look forward to celebrating the first birthday of this precious boy!
Maria came to Malta to work. She was accompanied by her three-year old boy, from a previous relationship she had had. She was excited to be here and full of hope for their future. She had always been a busy person, very capable and ready to work.
However, after one night of extreme entertainment everything changed!! She was supposed to be ‘safe’ and responsible. But she immediately missed her period and her pregnancy test was positive!
Maria called us in a great panic. She could not believe that she was pregnant, after a one-night stand with her old boyfriend.
Unfortunately, she was sure that he would leave her again, as this is what he had done on a previous occasion. At once she thought that she had only one option available to her – to get rid of the baby. She felt desperate and she desperately wanted to find a way out of her situation – yet she could not see it.
Maria was alone with her little son in a foreign land. She had no one to turn to – no family or close friends – no support or even a friendly face! As for her boyfriend, he turned away from her too, the minute he heard the news. Maria was completely alone with her young son and she felt that her world was collapsing all around her.
She worried that she might lose her job and she worried about how she would look after two children alone. She also needed help to find a place to live as her rent was too high and she was drinking three-quarters of her miserable pay!
We met Maria at this stage of her life. One of our counsellors sat down with her and together they drew up a realistic plan, considering the time before and after her due date. The most urgent problem appeared to be housing.
However, the maternity home in Mosta was still not ready, as it had just been rented and required a great deal of maintenance and painting work. Therefore, we found temporary accommodation for her and one month later, when our home opened its doors, Maria was our first resident. She was welcomed with open arms and received shelter, medical care and child care for her little boy. In this way, she was able to continue working and continue with her pregnancy.
We accompanied Maria and gave her the emotional support she needed. We also assisted with her medical appointments, including her ultrasound, when she found out the sex of her baby. This was a major turning point for Maria – when she found out that she was expecting a baby girl. Suddenly, the baby took on a real identity. She began to take courage and even to look forward to the day when she would see her baby daughter face to face. Maria had long had a dream to have a baby girl, and now this was coming true! This pregnancy was just meant to be!!
At the time of the birth, Maria had the support of our entire team. Someone was with her as she gave birth to her baby girl. She received all she needed at hospital, including one of our signature hospital bags, food, clothes, toys and real love.
It was a privilege for us to see Maria meet her baby. It was love at first sight.
Just recalling the scene arouses warm emotions in us again, recalling Maria with her baby girl. What a sight, what beauty, what a gift!
Maria was glad to have chosen life. Yet she still had to take another bold decision. Maria decided that putting the best interest of her baby girl first would mean that she would need to be adopted.
Now, almost two years have passed, and Maria is in a stable job, working and supporting her son. Although Maria had decided that it would be best for her daughter to be adopted, due to her financial situation, Maria has kept in regular contact with the family who was raising her daughter and following her progress closely.
Maria feels happy and at peace with the decisions she has made, especially when she meets her daughter and sees how she is growing up. She also feels at peace with the family that loves her daughter and is doing such a good job of raising her. At the same time, she continues to be able to look after her own son.
Maria is delighted that she has chosen life.
L-istorja speċjali ta Victoria bdiet b’telefonata kunfidenzjali fuq il linji tal-helpline taghna. Omm zaghzugha kellha bżonn l-appoġġ tagħna. Kellha qrib l-għoxrin sena u kienet ħerqana thares lejn ħajja futura sabiħa. F’daqqa waħda l-affarijiet inbidlu. Pregnancy test ta malajr, Zewg linji blu tefghu lil Victoria f bahar ta nkwiet u paniku. Kif kien jista jkun! Ħasset li kellha wisq problemi – din kien jonqos issa!
Sempliċement xtaqet li taħrab. Bdiet tara ħajjitha, il-holm kollu li kellha jgħib quddiem għajnejha. U ħasset li kien kollu tort tagħha. Ma setgħetx temmen li kienet ħalliet dan jiġri, lilha minn tant nies – ħasbet li kellha pjan perfett u issa, wara lejl wiehed, sparixxa kollox!!
Ghamlet gurnata tfittex fuq il-mezzi ta l-Internet. Iddecidiet li tfittex l-ghajnuna. Ghamlet kuntatt maghna permezz tal Fb messenger.Victoria żaret għall-ewwel darba l-uffiċċju tagħna, akkumpanjata minn ommha u s-sieħeb tagħha, missier it-tarbija. Giet milqugħa b’tgħanniqa ta solidarjeta! Madwar mejda, f’ atmosfera ta’ wens, spjegat il-problemi kollha taghha, wahda wara l-oħra, inkluz dik ta tqala mhux mistennija.
Kienet mifxula u ma kienitx taf kif ser tkompli b’hajjitha. F’atmosfera ta’ kalma, beda l-process fejn bl-ghajnuna, il-problemi kollha gew identifikati wahda wahda u bis- soluzzjonijiet proposti. Kien proċess li ha l-hin.
Ġiet offruta anke akkomodazzjoni, izda il-familja hawnhekk, bis-support urew li lesti jghinuha. Victoria spjegat li xtaqet tibqa indipendenti izda mghejjuna. Sa tmiem l-ewwel laqgħa, Victoria reġgħet bdiet titbissem u dehret inqas anzjuża!! Harget mimlija taghma.
Victoria tghid li fil-bidu, taht xokk qawwi, il- problemi kienu dehru impossibli. Ma ratx kif tista tkompli b’hajjitha.Ma setgħetx tara mod kif toħroġ mis-sitwazzjoni tagħha u xtaqet taħrab!
Madankollu, spjegat ukoll li kienet f’relazzjoni stabbli ma’ missier it-tifel u li kienet determinata li tkun finanzjarjament indipendenti.Wara l-ewwel laqgħa twila Victoria ċemplet biex tgħidilna li kienet ddeċidiet li żżomm it-tarbija tagħha. Staqsiet jekk tistax tibqa’ f’kuntatt magħna u li xtaqet l-ghajnuna. Fil-fatt, hekk gara.
Konna mahha matul it-tqala kollha u wara. Sirna parti mill-familja taghha fejn konna nilqghu l-aħbarijiet kollha tul it-tqala tagħha, inkluż iż-żmien meta skopriet is-sess tat-tarbija tagħha. Mat-twelid, konna l-ewwel nies li bagħtet ritratt flimkien ma ‘video clip’ qasira li mlietna b’ ħafna ferh. L-akkumpanjament taghna ma Victoria kompla sa ma hija dahlet lura fid- dinja tax-xogħol. Bit-tifel fic-childcare, dahlet lura ghax-xoghol li kienet xtaqet u issa hija finanzjarjament indipendenti, u m’għadhiex teħtieġ l-appoġġ finanzjarju tagħna. Hija baqgħet ukoll f’relazzjoni b’saħħitha ma missier it-tarbija u qeghdin jippjanaw li fil-futur qarib jinaghqdu ukoll ufficjalment bhala koppja fiz-zwieg.
Victoria talbet li tibqa’ f’kuntatt magħna. Huwa ta unur u pjacir ghalina li nzommu kuntatt mat-tfajliet u familji li nghinu. Ghalina isiru parti mill- familja taghna u huwa ferm inkoragganti ghalina li narawhom jirnexxu fil-hajja u jintegraw ruhhom fis-socjeta.
Aħna tant nammiraw il-kuraġġ u d-determinazzjoni ta’ Victoria u tfajliet bhala li f’cirkostanzi tant challenging, jaghzlu l-hajja ghat-tarbija taghhom.Illum inharsu l-quddiem ħerqana li dalwaqt niċċelebraw l-ewwel birthday ta’dan it-tifel prezzjuz.
Maria ġiet Malta biex taħdem. Kellha maghha tifel ta’ tlett snin, minn relazzjoni li kellha. Kienet eċċitata li ser tkun hawn u mimlija tama għall-futur tagħhom. Hi kienet biezla, kapaci u lesta li tahdem.
Madankollu, lejl ta divertiment biddel dan kollu! Suppost kienet ‘safe’ u responsabbli. Izda l- ‘period’ ma giex u kif ghamlet pregnancy test mill-ewwel gie posittiv.
Maria ċemplitna f’paniku kbir. Ma setgħetx temmen li kienet tqila, wara lejl mal-għarus antik tagħha.
Kienet ċerta li kien se jħalliha, kif kien għamel f’okkażjoni preċedenti u mill-ewwel ħasbet li kellha għażla waħda quddiemha dik li tehles mit-tarbija taghha.Hassitha iddisprata. Ma setgħetx tara triq ohra.
Maria kienet waħedha ma binha ckejken f’art barranija. Ma kellhiex fuq min iddur – l-ebda familja jew ħbieb tal-qalb ! U “l-għarus tagħha”, dabbar rasu malli sar jaf bl-ahbar tat-tqala. Maria kienet totalment waħedha ma’ binha ż-żgħir, hasset id-dinja taghha tikkrolla.
Inkwetata li tista titlef ix-xogħol tagħha. Inkwetata wkoll kif issa kienet ser tieħu ħsieb zewgt itfal wahedha. Hija kellha bżonn l-għajnuna biex issib post fejn toqgħod ghax il-kera kienet gholja wisq u kienet qed thallas tlett kwarti tal-paga mizera li kellha.
F’dan l-istadju, ahna ltqajna ma Marija. Il- cousellor taghna poggiet bil-qeghda maghha u flimkien ghamlu plan fit-tul. Raw x’ghajnuniet hemm li japplikaw ghal Marija, waqt it-tqala u anke ghal wara. L-aktar problema urgenti kienet dik tal-akkomodazzjoni.
Il- “maternity home” ta gewwa il-Mosta ma kenitx lesta, ghax kienet ghada kif inkriet u kien ghad qed isir xoghol ta manutenzjoni u zebgha go fiha.
Ghalhekk, sibna akkomodazzjoni temporanja għaliha flimkien ma binha. Xahar wara, meta nfetħet id- dar tagħna, Maria kienet l- ewwel residenta tagħna. Hija ntlaqgħet b’idejha miftuħa u rċeviet kenn ghalijha u għat-tifel ċkejken tagħha. Hekk setgħet tkompli tmur taħdem, bit-tifel fic-childcare u tkompli bit-tqala taghha.
Akkumpanjana lil Maria u tajniha l-appoġġ emozzjonali li kellha bzonn. Assistejniha ukoll fl-appuntamenti mediċi magħha, inkluż l-ultrasound tagħha meta saret taf is-sess tat-tarbija tagħha.
Dan kien il-punt ta’ bidla ewlenija għal Maria – meta saret taf li kienet qed tistenna tifla. F’daqqa wahda it-tarbija hadet identita ghal Marija ! Bdiet taghmel il-kuragg u anke thares lejn il-jum li tara lil bintha wicc imb’wicc.
Fil-ħin tat-twelid, Maria kellha l-appoġġ tat-tim kollu taghna. Kien hemm min kien maghha kif weldet lit tarbija. Zornija l-isptar. Hija kellha l- bzonnijiet kollha inkluz l- ikel, il-ħwejjeġ, u ġugarelli ghat tarbija.
Ghalina kien ta privilegg naraw lill Marija tintilef wara t-tarbija taghha. It was love at first sight!
X’ emozzjonijiet qanqlitilna Marija bit-tarbija taghha f’ideja. Xi gmiel, x’tezor!
Marija kienet ferħana li ghazlet il-hajja. Izda Marija kienet ghad trid tmur ghal pass kuragguz iehor! Marija iddecidiet li ghal gid tat-tifla ahjar li tkun addottata.
Illum, ghaddew kwazi sentejn, u Maria issa tinsab f’impjieg stabbli, taħdem u hija indipendenti, u tmantni lil binha. Fis-sitwazzjoni finanzjarja tagħha Marija kienet iddecidiet li jkun ahjar li taghti lil bintha għall-adozzjoni, izda hija zzomm f’kuntatt regolari mal-familja li qed trabbi lil bintha u ssegwiha mill qrib.
Maria thossha ferhana u fil-paci ghad-decizzjoni li ghamlet specjalment meta tara r-ritratti ta bintha tikber. Thossha fil-paci li qeghda ma familja li thobbha u li tista tiehu hsiebha. Sa danittant hija tkompli b’hajjitha ma binha.
