A country singer has released a new song about his younger brother with Down syndrome, celebrating the differences they have and urging for inclusion and acceptance.
John Paul Von Arx said on his website that he released the song and music video, which features his brother Sam, to “bring hope to parents expecting a baby with Down Syndrome and express [his] solidarity with families of people with special needs.”
Read the full article here.
Life Network Foundation has inaugurated “Id F’Id” (Hand in Hand), new premises providing material assistance services for pregnant women and young families raising infants.
The opening of Id F’Id complements the holistic support services for women run by Life Network Foundation…
Read the full Press Release (in English) here.
Read the Press Release in Maltese here.
It is a legitimate fact: pregnancy is not always easy! Just as we are all unique, every experience we face may also be particular to each person. Some women seem to breeze through their pregnancy and birth with minimal side effects. However, it may not always be as rosy for others.
A woman’s body goes through many changes when she is expecting. She faces physical issues and exacerbated conditions which can be extremely exhausting. Her mental and emotional wellbeing is also put through the wringer, with intense levels of psychological ups and downs. She may even feel guilt and shame for experiencing depression at a time when she is expected to be celebrating the new life inside her.
I spoke to three Maltese women to explore what they went through during their pregnancies.
In the course of her two pregnancies, at ages 39 and 42, C. experienced various challenges which affected both her physical and mental state.
“I suffer from scoliosis, and my back problems increased during both my pregnancies. I endured an inflammation of the sciatic nerve both times, leading to a constantly painful back which made sitting and lying down extremely tough.”
Eating was also a “double-edged sword” for C. “I used to get hungry, of course, but after eating, I would feel very bloated, heavy, and nauseous. I also suffered from heartburn, which was more severe in my second pregnancy. This left me with constant pain in my stomach. As the baby grew, its position increased my discomfort considerably.”
Sadly, C.’s first pregnancy resulted in a stillbirth a few weeks before her due date.
“Yes, there were obviously mental struggles. I’m sure these occur in every pregnancy—you don’t need to experience a stillbirth. The worry, the sleepless nights, the fear of the unknown. Will the baby be delivered safely? How will I manage to breastfeed?”
“It is obviously quite tough to have another child after experiencing a stillbirth. But I really wanted this child, and we happily got pregnant—and I repeat, happily! Thankfully, our second pregnancy was fruitful!”
S.* fell pregnant at 19 years of age—“and it just shook my world!”
An unplanned pregnancy may bring overwhelming psychological issues, which, along with the physical side effects, can be enormously distressing. Furthermore, a girl still in her teens might not feel fully prepared for such a tremendous change in her life.
“My first pregnancy resulted in a very traumatic birth,” explained S.* “I was prepped for a C-section—which never happened! My baby was born via ventouse. I had a million doctors observing me during the birth—for which I was never asked permission. Afterward, I couldn’t even sit down because of all the stitches. It was a nightmare!”
Assisting a birth with a ventouse involves attaching a vacuum cup to the baby’s head through suction, a procedure which involves a number of risks for both the mother and the baby. Moreover, S.* felt that no one was explaining anything to her during the process.
“I was so traumatised by the birth of my firstborn, I thought I was going to die.”
S.*’s troubles did not stop there, however. “I had problems breastfeeding. I was really struggling and having a hard time mentally. In fact, I had post-natal depression for a year afterwards. The whole experience left me shaken.”
In spite of all this, S.* still went on to have two more children in her twenties.
At 42 years of age, J.’s experience “defied science and logic from the start”.
“Getting pregnant at 42 was incredible, especially without the basic vitamins needed. Since this was my first pregnancy, however, I had a high chance of miscarrying. We learned that, scientifically, the mother is simply a carrier and cannot protect from or prevent the worst. The baby is completely on its own to fight for its own life.”
“I had a fibroid on the posterior wall of my cervix, meaning a natural birth was impossible. This landed me a couple of times in the hospital. I also suffered from carpal tunnel syndrome from the beginning of the second trimester, as well as hypertension (high blood pressure) and gestational diabetes. I was confined to bed rest and ended up giving birth via C-section a week before plan. The procedure per se went well; the aftermath was an event that nearly landed me in the ITU.”
It is vital to point out that most physical and mental issues during pregnancy are treatable.
The women I spoke to certainly did not have easy pregnancies. But they all found their own ways to cope.
“I never allowed the negative thoughts to take over. My attitude was: this child is precious, and an accident that happened in my first pregnancy will not take that away. I was grateful, and the gratitude literally took over. I just felt . . . it will be ok.”
S.*, on the other hand, was closed to children in her mind, but she reached out to others.
“My family really helped me during my first pregnancy. And my then boyfriend, who is now my husband, was very supportive. It was not easy—we were young but in a totally different stage of life to our friends. My second pregnancy was the best out of the three. During this time, I attended meetings provided by the perinatal mental health services in hospital. These really helped me overcome my past anxieties.”
The major support that J. received from her husband and family was “stellar”.
“I also received support from the perinatal mental health services. Due to a genetic predisposition, I immediately accepted their assistance, even at a time when all I felt was happiness and awe. Thankfully, all tests done on the baby in the womb showed him to be growing in a healthy manner.“
So, is it worth it being pregnant and having babies?
C.’s response was categorical. “In spite of all the issues, it is worth it 101%—if not more! A child is a blessing, a joy, innocent. Children bring out the beauty in humanity. I like to say: humans are children, then they become adults—unfortunately! I find it in myself as well; I’m not always a nice adult,” she added with a smile.
S.* also agreed that the struggles were all worth it. “I would do it again—no doubt about it. Because it’s not about me, it’s about my children. Even with my first pregnancy, it was always about my son. He’s here, so I’m happy about that. Abortion never even crossed my mind. No way—I prefer to die! Giving birth is always stepping into the unknown, but it is so rewarding.”
“A pregnancy and a baby, in all their powers, have the strength to defy science from start to finish. The simple fact that we did manage to deliver a healthy baby is in itself a defiance of the odds. Furthermore, this baby never needed the resuscitation room and never experienced any withdrawal symptoms from the medications I was taking. And if you see him today, he is just a joy to be around.”
“My experience as a mother, both mentally and physically, is another trip of choices. I had every excuse to give in to a pity party. This was an opportunity to become a woman more resilient in all my ways. I want to ensure that, whatever negatives come my way in life, I have an option not to transfer any of them to the baby. I learnt, instead, to deal with them as they come—at times with outside help—and develop new skills on how to tackle every situation.”
It is clear that both mental and physical issues during pregnancy are common and may be present even after the baby is born. It is vital that the woman or girl speaks up and reaches out. Mental problems are nothing to be ashamed of, and neither is seeking help for them.
Most women do survive the challenges they face when expecting, and most of these can be remedied. Abortion, however, is not a remedy. It is merely a procedure that will bring its own physical and mental problems, rather than solve the situation.
Be inspired by the women who endured and came out stronger than before—as mothers!
And reach out to LifeLine if you are experiencing any kind of predicament during or after your pregnancy at https://lifelinemalta.eu/
*First initial was changed to protect anonymity.
At the centre of every strongly held anti-life (pro-choice) belief is a desensitisation to the wonder of not only life, but also of being, and even of existence. I would, for a moment, like to try to put the wonder of our simple existence into some perspective.
There is a hierarchy of existence on earth. At its pinnacle is human life with our ability to love, think rationally and distinguish good and evil – the supreme gifts.
Below us are mammals and other animals that have many of our animal characteristics and have DNA that maintains their species-specific continuity over time and generations.
Plant life is yet a further step below, with DNA but without the complex brain that movement and animal interaction requires.
Below this, inanimate objects or chemicals are not alive but they too have existence and a function in the world.
At the lowest end of this scale is the vacuum of space. It has no discernible things within it but it is not ‘nothingness’ as it is still part of the cosmos and is able to transmit light and electromagnetic waves.
So this brings us to nothingness. It is difficult to conceive of nothingness as it is outside of our experience. It is insightful to try to do this, however, as although individual human beings are made up of chemicals, our existence as individuals literally was ‘nothingness’ before we were conceived. We did not even exist as empty space.
This puts human conception in an entirely different light. Human embryos, however short-lived, are individuals that never previously existed. They are unique. Yes their DNA gives them the blueprint for their growth but that DNA is not necessarily unique, as identical twins have the same DNA.
It is not the DNA that gives individuality, it is our spiritual soul that is the core of our existence and of our individuality. Our body and DNA are just the ‘earthen vessel’ that holds our unique, created existence.
Individual human life when seen in the perspective of nothingness is all the more wonderful. Who but God can create out of nothingness? So every human conception, whether lasting an hour or a day or a hundred years, is in this deep perspective, a miracle.
Does the fact that many embryos die before birth devalue either human life or individuality or the preciousness of each and every embryo? No! How can it?
The practice of IVF and surrogacy has desensitised us to the astounding miracle of conception, set against the backdrop of the nothingness we came out of. And in-vitro fertilisation is not and could never be ‘creation’.
I have previously called for the setting up of Malta as a centre for prenatal foetal medicine and intrauterine surgery
When a species becomes extinct, it has returned to the void out of which it was created . Creation from that void of nothingness is true creation that only God can perform.
It is not only illogical but arrogant in the extreme to state that because many embryos die when they are still a few cells, therefore all embryos do not deserve protection.
Who are we to ask why God created these individuals? Maybe the majority of us die at an early stage to protect us from being contaminated by the errors and evils of the world that engulf us.
Rather than devaluing all embryonic life on the basis of the high loss of early embryos, we should cherish and protect embryonic life even more and pursue research to help reduce this early embryonic loss of human life.
It is wonderful that in Malta abortion is illegal. However, we cannot accept this bare legal minimum and must engender a wonder and respect of preborn life in society.
I have previously called for the setting up of Malta as a centre for prenatal foetal medicine and intrauterine surgery.
As the only country in Europe that does not allow abortion, Malta could set up a prenatal medical centre with full surgical capabilities and take referrals from the rest of Europe and rapidly become a European and world leader in this area.
Patrick Pullicino, Catholic priest in London and retired NHS neurologist
